The following is an extensive guide to the different Labels a Lesbian may have. In my experience I have come across many Lesbians who just thought they were a Lesbian. This guide was at first for TheLesbianClub's Chatroom Classes, but I have decided that this could benefit not only the club but many people out there. If you are a Lesbian and questioning what type of Lesbian you are, then this guide is for you!
Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an adjective, to describe characteristics of an object or activity related to female same-sex desire.
Alternate Definition: A woman who loves or is sexually attracted to women. I read through other descriptions of lesbian and some people who made definitions on this word are just plain retarded.
1. There is NO good or bad type of lesbian. It doesnt matter if they are ugly or pretty. They are people. Just like you get ugly and pretty straight people. You don't group them into 'good and bad groups' do you? =/.
2. Lesbians aren't all man haters. Yes a few are. But then again some (i'm not saying all) straight men are sexist towards women and treat them as objects. So you can't say that lesbians are all sexist when plenty of straight people are.
3. Those skanks you see on internet porn are not lesbians. They are whores that are trying to get guys to fuck them. If they are real lesbians then they AREN'T going to let you fuck them. Look up 'bi-sexual' asshole.
4. YOU AREN'T GOING TO TURN A LESBIAN STRAIGHT BY HAVING SEX WITH THEM. OMG. That's just plain stupid. Some guys that have their heads up their asses seem to think that lesbians are women you havn't ever had sex with a man before. Or that being homosexual is just a mental illness or something that can only be cured with sex with a guy. =/. If she's a lesbian then she's not going to appreciate you trying to fuck her. You'll probably just get slapped.
Another word for lesbian. Usually is only used by people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans. A straight person using this word may offend some people.
Alternate Definition: Although originally a derogatory term for lesbians, it is now often used with pride by lesbians themselves, especially the younger and hipper lesbian crowd. Some lesbians (especially older or super-sensitive ones) still object to the term, but it is becoming increasingly common and mainsteam (at least within the gay community), with events such as "Dyke Nights" or "Dyke Marches" being held around the country. In fact some dykes resent being called a lesbian, as they feel it is much less cool than being called a dyke.
Note: Dyke with a "y" is a lesbian. Dike with an "i" is for damming water.
Gold Star Lesbian
A gold star lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man and has no intention of ever sleeping with a man.
Lone Star Lesbian
A Lone Star Lesbian is not a lesbian from Texas. A Lone Star Lesbian is someone who has only had sex with one person in their life. Straight and bisexual people can be Lone Stars too.
A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the femmy side. Also known as Femme or Fem.
Alternate Definition: A feminine lesbian. It can be used interchangably with femme to indicate a feminine lesbian, but strictly speaking, a femme is usually attracted to masculine, or butch, lesbians and a lipstick lesbian is attracted to other feminine lesbians.
Often thought of as demure, submissive creatures, many, if not all femmes and lipstick lesbians are quite strong, independant women.
A chapstick lesbian is also known as a soft butch or androgynous. She usually dresses quite casually and does not wear make-up. The term Chapstick Lesbian was popularized after an episode of the TV show Ellen. Someone asked Ellen if she were a lipstick lesbian or what. Ellen replied, she was more of a chapstick lesbian.
Alternate Definition: A female homosexual whose gender identity is slightly to the femme side of neutral on the femme-butch continuum of gender presentation but whose appearance and preferences stop short of those of a "lipstick lesbian."
A feminine lesbian. Also known as a Lipstick Lesbian. Sometimes spelled Fem.
Alternate Definition: A (traditionally) feminine woman. Mainly used to refer to a feminine lesbian, and especially a feminine lesbian who is attracted to masculine, or butch lesbians.
Often thought of as passive, dulcet, timid little things with long locks of hair; prissy dresses; great big fawn eyes; a high, baby-doll voice; the courage of a lamb and the intelligence of a gardenia. But we're all human, so don't expect that stereotype of finding every femme to be submissive, faint-hearted little fairies. Plenty of femmes kick butt and are even the dominant over their butch partners.
Blue Jeans Femme
A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme, or feminine, but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts.
A woman who adopts what would be considered masculine characteristics.
Alternate Definition: A (traditionally) masculine man or woman, and especially a masculine lesbian. Often the "dominant" partner in a lesbian relationship, and especially of a butch/femme lesbian relationship.
Dressing masculinely does not make a woman into a lesbian, contrary to popular belief; it's usually more convenient. Acting masculinely only means that's the gender role that the person identifies with; it has nothing to do with their sexual life. A highly masculine man could be gay for all we know and a very feminine man could be straight for all we know, and both of these cases are frequent.
A stone butch is a lesbian who gets her pleasure from pleasing her partner. She does not like to be touched sexually.
Alternate Definition: Most masculine of the Butches - may pass as male without actually trying. May identify as transgender, that is identifying outside of the gender usually associated with females. Does all or most of the above in masculine gender expressions. May or may not be sexually aggressive. Will not be made love to as one would a "woman". Will have questioned their gender at some time in their lives. Will not be totally comfortable with their female body. May think of Butch as a separate gender from man & woman.
A Pillow Queen is someone who likes to be on the receiving end of sex. She likes to be pleasured and not reciprocate.
A soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance is generally androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.
A stem is a lesbian who identifies somewhere between "stud" and "femme". Also known as Kiki.
Kiki is a term that was used in the lesbian bar culture of the 1950s and 1960s to describe someone who was neither butch nor femme. At that time, the bar culture was very much into roles and most women were pressured to choose either butch or femme.
Dani Campbell, a lesbian firefighter from Florida who was one of the contestants on MTV's Shot at Love with Tila Tequila coined the word "Futch." She says the word describes someone who is neither feminine nor butch, but a cross between.
Alternate Definition: A lesbian, dyke or other variety of queer woman who possesses or displays qualities and identifiers of both butch and femme. (noun)
Futch (adjective) describes:
a) a non-standard display of female masculinity, which contains elements of the feminine (such as clothing, walk, cosmetics, shoes).
b) a non-standard display of queer femininity, containing elements of the masculine (such as clothing, walk, cosmetics, shoes).
If butch/femme is a spectrum, a futch may be found at any or all of the points in between.
A futch presentation may occasionally be ephemeral, caused by the migration of an woman's queer self-identity, but is much more likely to be ongoing and deliberate; reflecting an individual's own position of comfort on the queer gender presentation scale.
Tila Tequila's date, Dani Campbell, a lesbian firefighter from Florida, claims she invented the word "futch" to describe herself as being part butch, part femme. However, a spot of research will reveal that the word has been in moderate usage in the dyke community since at least 1990. Dani would have had to be a very inventive little futch at 11 to be the word's progenitor.
Sometimes futch sighting is a false positive, as in the case of many rural women who make the gaydar spang wildly, but who are merely hetero women who portray common lesbian markers, such as speaking firmly, gesturing strongly, taking no nonsense, and using no botox. While wearing boots.
For lesbians, a boi is a woman who is biologically female, but has a boyish appearance or presentation. A boi may be lesbian identified or s/he may be trans identified. For gay men a boi is a gay man who is boyish or young in appearance or identity.
Alternate Definition: This spelling of the word originated in a gay magazine called, "XY" in the early to mid 1990's. XY is targeted at gay male teenagers. This spelling describes a youthful, hip, and attractive male. While completely embraced in the gay community to mean any young, sexually attractive male, this spelling also appears in heterosexual contexts to mean similarly, a young, handsome guy.
However, now A boi is a lesbian or gender-queer person who identifies most with their male energy and presents themselves as male in their appearance. They may consider themselves to be of either gender although they are anatomically female.
A Power Dyke is a lesbian who has gained a position of power, either within the LGBT community, or in the world at large. She could be the head of a non-profit agency, a politician or successful in business. Also known as Power Lesbian or a Suit.
A Diesel Dyke is a very butch or manly lesbian, especially one who is very aggressive. In some lesbian circles Diesel Dyke refers to a very butch Big-Rig (or other heavy equipment) driving lesbian. Also known as Bulldagger.
Alternate Definition: A lady (often quite large,) that prefers the (very) close company of other ladies, known as femmes. Regularly seen wearing a lumberjack shirt, boots and dungarees/bib & braces overalls.
Origin: Due to the normal extreme mass of these 'ladies,' it has often been assumed that locomotion could only be facilitated with the assistance of a powerful Diesel engine
A sport dyke is a lesbian, who more than anything, identifies with being an athlete. She may also dress in a manner that would give the impression she is an athlete, like baseball caps, sweatshirts and jeans.
A young lesbian or someone who is just coming out of the closet. Also know as Dyke in Training. Common Misspellings include: baby dike.
A dominant lesbian, usually butch, often African American.
A hasbian is a woman who used to identify as a lesbian and date women, but is now dating men.
Alternate Definition: A term meaning a lesbian who now partakes in heterosexual activities. However, it does not mean that a woman has CHANGED her sexual orientation, that is something which does not change. She may however have changed her sexual behavior or identity. The woman may truly be straight and have previously been questioning, or the woman may have been a lesbian who has retreated into the closet, or the woman may be bisexual, omnisexual or something else of that nature but by no means can a person change their orientation.
LUG stands for "Lesbian until Graduation". A LUG is a woman who experiments with women during her college years, but eventually decides she is straight and marries a man.
Alternate Definition: Someone who for whatever personal/logistical reasons decides to be a lesbian until graduation. The seriousness of this can range from officially identifying as a lesbian (possibly accompanied by an elaborate coming out process) to avoidance of the offical term and simply fucking around with girls. Rather like cinderella after midnight, these are the girls who revert back to the male half of the species after leaving the college bubble. A very common occurance at women's colleges. Also has a counter-part in the term bi until graduation (BUG). Most frequently used on womens college's campuses, the term may also be used as an insult or warning and is oftentimes by other women who have more romantic or sexual experience with other women (AKA lesbians/bi chicks who have come to terms with their sexuality earlier on and are talking about the chicks who're just now starting to explore).
A drag king is a woman who dresses to look like a man, usually for performance. Drag kings are often lesbian, but not always.
Alternate Definition: A woman who, generally for public entertainment, dons men's clothes and adopts a stereotypically masculine demeanor while on stage. As with drag queens, a drag king's performance can range from a silly, overdone parody to a more natural, subtle depiction of masculinity.
A person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to both women and men.
Alternate Definition: To be bisexual is to be attracted to a person regardless or gender or sex. It does not mean that you cannot make up your mind, it does not mean you are sex-crazed, and it does not mean that you will by default participate in orgies every night.
Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to TheLesbianClub.
A pansexual is someone who is attracted people of many genders. Also known as Omnisexual.
Alternate Definition: A pansexual is someone who isn't influenced by the binaries and labels surrounding gender and sexuality. This can mean attraction to anyone regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. Some pansexuals take it a step further to be openly against those labels and definitions, considering them to be destructive and alienating.
Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to TheLesbianClub.
A lesbophile is someone who loves or appreciates lesbians.
This is considered Lesbian Slang.
Although not a direct Lesbian term, it is relevant to TheLesbianClub.
Gayelle is a new word that some women are trying to get to replace the word "lesbian" in the English language. According to gayelle.org, the word lesbian is antiquated and not cheerful or fun. So, they want to create a new word that they feel better fits their perception of themselves. Only time will tell if this new word takes off.
Although this is not a Label for Lesbians, I felt it was important to include this.
I sincerely hope that this was of help to some people, and that it is fairly accurate. If you feel that something is not accurate, or if you have more questions, please contact TheLesbianClub. We will be happy to answer questions or fix mistakes on this article.
Thank you for taking the time to read it.
Remember, stay proud!
References and Credits